WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Randomize
