I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
I woke up wearing no shirt sleeping next to a half-eaten grilled cheese.
Well did you call the grilled cheese yet? Or r u waiting the usual 3 days?
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
Randomize
