omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
It's rum buckets o'clock
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
Randomize
