Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
Randomize
