question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
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