Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
So I'm really hungover walking to work and these douches from comcast on bikes ask if they can take a picture with me to show that they're doing their job. The picture: me, this chick from comcast, i'm holding a 2 ft. pixie stick, a comcast flyer and i'm puking in the parking lot. sounds like their doing a good job!
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
i drank out of a bidet.
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
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