My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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