i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
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