is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
Randomize
