She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
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