u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
Naked. naked and bneed help.
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
Randomize
