It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
Randomize