I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
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