Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
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