fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize
