that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
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