The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
I stole a fireplace last night.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize
