I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
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