Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
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