Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
Randomize
