Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
Randomize
