I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦ðŸ¼â€â™€ï¸
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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