Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
Randomize
