i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
Randomize
