Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
We need to rekindle our bromance
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
Randomize
