Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
