Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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