why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
Randomize
