Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
It's blow job season.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
Randomize
