remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
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