blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
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