I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Randomize
