The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
Randomize
