in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
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