I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
I just forgot I was standing up.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
