apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
Randomize