When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize