He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize
