is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Randomize
