That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
Randomize
