he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
