dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
Randomize
