That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
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