I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
That accounts for only three of the penises
I fill condoms, not promises.
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
Randomize
