they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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