I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
Randomize
