The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
Randomize