I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
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