Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
Randomize
