Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
