come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
Randomize
