I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
I'm too high and old for this...
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Randomize
