I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
