Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
Randomize
