The iPhone is ruining my ability to sex message. My 5-year-old cousin just picked up my phone at my grandmas birthday party and read "I wanna stand you up and fuck you from behind" to my entire extended family bc of popped up on my screen
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
Randomize
