yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
