Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Randomize
