my mouth tastes like poor choices
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
