oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
